How to Take a Punch
A Guide to Reading "Bad" Reviews
Art by Johnny Dismal
I first stepped into a boxing gym shortly after leaving the Navy and moving to Ohio sometime in 2017. I didn’t have a real workout plan, lived with my ex, and there wasn’t much to do in Ohio for someone who’s accustomed to big cities.
I don’t like traditional workouts. I like things that are intense like crossfit, muay thai, krav maga, jiu jitsu, etc. Boxing fit this need in spades and it was new territory for me. The first day was rough, and vigorous. I felt so out of shape, rivulets of sweat dripping down from my curls. I could barely hold my arms up after 20 minutes of throwing punches. I never knew how tiresome this sport was, but I learned, oh boy did I learn.
I grew up watching boxing with my dad. He’d make me sit on the edge of the bed as he yelled at the TV screen, throwing punches, an imaginary coach for one of the fighters as he guzzled down cans of Budweiser. I never considered trying it out for fear of brain damage. Look at Joe Louis or even the Diaz brothers in the UFC who can be found slurring their words while being completely sober.
Cardio is king and having a great gas tank can take you far in the pugilist sport. My coach would tell me to run 4-5 miles every day. I began running but I didn’t hit those numbers out of laziness, but the running helped along with the two minutes of jump rope before hitting the heavy bag…
What does this have to do with book reviews you might ask Mr. Toughguy?
Be patient, we’re working our way up to the punch.
I slowly improved over time. I could go from lasting two rounds (3 minutes each) to six, but I still hadn’t stepped in a ring. I’ve been in plenty of street fights before this, but those usually don’t go past two or three minutes if that. Boxing was a different beast.
My coach encouraged me to step into the ring and spar after a few months of consistently attending evening classes and private lessons. I said yes without hesitation. I stepped into the ring with a professional boxer probably one weight class below me. I was taller and technically bigger, but I felt a healthy mix of fear and excitement.
This motherfucker was ripped and bouncing around the ring like a damn kangaroo. The bell dinged and I cautiously approached him, using my long reach to keep him at distance. There was no audience, but it felt real to me. He hit me with a jab, and another jab. Fast, precise punches keeping me on my toes.
I grew more defensive, chin tucked close to my chest, right hand hovering by my right cheek, left hand slightly lower. I used my reach to my advantage, throwing jabs of my own. He seemed undeterred, throwing punches to my body, cutting away my air.
My arms grew tired and my defense became sloppy. He caught me with a hook and my head snapped to the side. I shook it off, pain not really an issue. My coach yelled keep your fuckin hands up.
I put my hands up, but he threw punches to the body. I ate the punches, but I could see why certain fighters were gun shy after reaching a flurry of punches. It wears you down. It went on like this for eight rounds, me throwing a few punches in between, but I learned how to take a multitude of punches and I carry this same attitude into my writing.
Reading reviews can be rough, but that’s part of the game. Every book you write isn’t going to resonate with every reader who cracks it open. They don’t care how much time you spent plotting, outlining, crying, sweating, editing, shaking, vomiting, and bleeding on the page. You could have spent 10 years writing this book, got the best blurbs from the hottest writers out, the best cover art ever, but that won’t stop someone from disliking your book. There’s always one…
Negative book reviews hurt like a well-timed punch to the gut. It might hit your ribs, it might hit your kidneys, it might hit your liver, or take some air out of your lungs, but you have learn how to roll with the punches so you can become more seasons, more resilient.
Black Gypsies is probably one of the best books I ever wrote, but Tomasz called it turgid, uninspired writing and compared it to gang parody flick. I thought about taking Tomasz on a ride through Chicago, show him a few sights, but I let it roll off my shoulders. He didn’t like the book and it is what it is.
Here’s a 1 star review. The surreal ending didn’t work for him and I knew that would be something I had to brace myself for in general. A lot of characters are based off real people I know in real life, but he doesn’t know that. And the point about closing eyelids is pretty valid. Stuart didn’t like the book…oh well…
Just take the punches and move on. Your body and mind recovers as long as you allow it to. Don’t allow people’s words to haunt you and follow you throughout your day.
Keep in mind that bad reviews make people trust your good ones even more. I don’t trust any product that has 1000 five star reviews and not one single person had anything negative to say. Makes me feel like the reviews are fake/paid for and this product might be a scam in some way.
I had mixed reviews for my first two books, but I looked for constructive criticism in the words I could build on. Maybe there was a way I could improve. Everyone isn’t out to get you. They’re sharing their thoughts on your work. People said my dialogue was inconsistent, characterization was lacking, but I had a lot of potential. They were right on many counts. I didn’t allow my ego to get in the way. I got to work with specific intentions in mind.
So I put more energy and time into characterization, heightening the emotional aspects of my narratives, and refining my dialogue. I don’t really hear these criticisms compared to the past in my recent releases. I took the “bad” reviews and alchemized it into gold like the true alchemist I am. I encourage you to do the same.
Remember to tuck your chin into your chest, keep your hands up, protect your face, and your body, and keep it moving. Embody the energy of Francis Ngannou here and laugh off their words. You’ll live on to write another day.
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